Headlines for the First Week of August

The Municipal City Onions football team is headed back to practice. Coach Bob Mack says he expects the kids to be in fine shape by their first game in September. We’re all looking forward to seeing what they can do. GO ONIONS!

Ms. Marjorie Hinks, Municipal City’s most eligible seamstress,  is off the market. Sorry, guys, Sam “The Clam” Clements beat you to it. He took Ms. Hinks out for a nice picnic at the Plaza Park and popped the question. Best wishes to the happy couple!

We are sad to report the passing of Rev. Keith Porger. He has gone forth to his eternal rest due to old age and bad lungs. He has no surviving family, except for the entire community, and we will all miss him dearly. I bet he’s telling bad jokes to Jesus right now.

If you’re new in town, don’t forget to head down to City Hall and register. We like to know who we have in town, and it’s the law!


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